Michael Jackson Rewind: A Gen Y Poing of View

As the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death approaches, God knows the Internet and 24-hour cable news stations will fill the void with reminders (which admittedly will be a welcome break from covering the evil empire of BP). They'll play his videos, footage from his incomplete concert, images of the doctor who most likely killed him.

And we will all remember - after all, this is one of those "remember when" moments. Celebrities leave us all the time, but so few hit so hard that we actually stop what we're doing in order to absorb the information.

My story? I was walking in downtown Wilkes-Barre, PA with my boyfriend. We were in the middle of an on-campus residency for our Master's program, and we were hungry. We just crossed the busy street on our way to Subway when a friend and fellow classmate stopped us in our tracks.

"Did you guys hear? Michael Jackson died."

A moment.

"Wait, what?"

I knew who Michael Jackson was. And I knew what "died" meant. But it was one of those times where putting those two words together did not make an understandable sentence. Our friend pointed to the Subway we were headed toward. We ran in and joined the crowd, staring up at the television. It was true. Michael Jackson had died.

I ran back to our dorm which did not have a TV, and desperately tried to connect to the shaky Internet. I couldn't get onto facebook or Twitter (later, of course, it was revealed that when the news broke, when Jackson died, he took most of the Internet with him). I found some streaming video on a news website. My brother, much like myself, not so much an M.J. fan as a celebrity news fan, sent me a text I missed earlier in the day: "Michael Jackson!?"

So I remember.

But my understanding of who Michael Jackson was that day versus the man I know today are two very, very different people.

I was born in 1985 therefore belonging to Generation Y. We are really two totally different generations in one. My half, the earlier half, is individualistic, content with social diversity and sharing power. The later half, still growing, is self-focused, self-empowered, and easily affected by their own social status. Believe it or not, this is all relevant because it impacts how I understood the legend of Michael Jackson.

Before I entered preschool, Jackson already had his hit albums, epic videos, and monster business. His hair was set on fire, and he was responsible for creating a huge star-studded single. Moonwalking was a verb accepted into the lexicon - and I knew what it meant, learning it with other verbs like "sing" and "jump."

But at that age, I couldn't visually describe the guy. It wasn't until the nineties that I could put a face to that name... and what a face it was --

White, chalk white complexion. Jet black, straight hair. Red lips. Lined eyes. This was the Michael Jackson I knew from tabloid images I saw while waiting in the grocery check-out lines with my mom. That guy was Michael Jackson.

As I got older and more engrossed into the era's pop culture, I learned about Jackson from sitcom jokes and stand-up comics. He had a falsetto voice. He spent a lot of money on weird things. He was in some kind of legal trouble involving children.

Understanding Jackson as I did, I didn't think of him as a bad or evil man. He was a weird guy with equally weird behavior who people loved to talk about. I"m sure there was a time when I asked my poor parents why Michael is white now when his siblings were black, when he was referred to as black. I don't remember an answer.

Ultimately, it was weird. My knowledge and understanding of Michael Jackson was not defined by his talent. It's as though everything he achieved, every quirk and dance move was already ingrained into pop culture. I absorbed it without experiencing it. When a comedian or cartoon character wore a sequined glove, it wasn't a reference; it was a trend.

By the time Jackson dangled his third child off a balcony in Germany in front of a street-full of cameras, I had a solid grasp of who this guy was: crazy, confused, entertaining. And throughout the rest of his life, he would occasionally supply the news/entertainment world with antics - his trial, for example. Or when he announced his comeback tour in London. I vaguely remember seeing those headlines and and not thinking too much of them. Little did I know that 2 years later I'd be paying 8 bucks to sit in a movie theater just for the chance to watch his rehearsal footage.

On June 25, 2009, Michael Jackson died. Reports flew that he was ill, the concert rehearsals were draining him, he completely lost his singing voice, blah, blah, blah. But when the news outlets released the footage, even from that split second clip, it was obvious none of those rumors were true. Jackson was fine. Thin, but fine.

And while the media usually eats up a celebrity death, not since Princess Diana did the news world come to a screeching halt. There were clip shows, re-airings of tribute shows, video marathons, old interviews... suddenly Michael Jackson fandom was at an all-time high. And I was right there with them, watching it all.

Surrounded by everything Michael Jackson, I could only piece together what I was shown. I wanted to dig deeper. I bought a book hoping to discover more about the man I knew very little about. The book was a bad choice: Poorly written and researched. Move back 2 spaces.

I studied interviews and determined the Martin Bashir interview from 2002 was the most telling. Bashir is a respectable journalist so this was a good source. Bashir spoke with Jackson on three different occasions. And each time it was as though he were interviewing a completely different person. The first interview was the most sincere. It was Michael as he truly was: a man clearly in a state of arrested development. He had no concept of the real world, sounding like a 5-year-old in a Toys R Us - "I want one of those and one of those and three of those..."

Except there was no parent to tell him no. He really could do whatever he wanted.

The second and third interviews were just as illuminating - further telling the tale of this troubled man. The second interview was during Jackson's Berlin stunt. In a moment of sheer adrenaline, held his son, Blanket, over the railing of a balcony. Immediately afterward, it was clear Jackson was hopped up - on what, I don't know. But he was talking very quickly, stuttering, sweating. In other words, here was a guy who was not in control of his impulses, again, much like a child.

Interview #3, Michael #3. His previous stint clearly left him feeling vulnerable and self-conscious. He came off as paranoid and neurotic - almost scared. He wouldn't answer questions. He was constantly worried about the lighting in an apparent need to desperately control the situation. Given, I am not a psych major, but it seemed pretty clear that this man was seriously troubled.

But through all of that, the most overwhelming thing I studied was his music. His songs, his videos, his appearances and concerts. I couldn't get them out of my head. His videos were a blast: huge productions. Michael Jackson wasn't just talented - he was talent - walking, talking, dancing, singing talent.

Okay, so what's the point to this whole story?

After Jackson's death, his whole life was re-examined and the question arose if he'd be remembered more for his early music career or his later wild life involving his changing looks, his criminal charges, etc.

Most said his talent would outshine his later years despite the severity of the crimes of which he was accused. But "most" were those who grew up with Jackson. They remember how big his hits were, how amazing the moonwalking moment was, how sharp a business man he was. And because of that, many stuck with him through his rough years. So they lived it.

I only lived the second half. I had to do some work to learn about the first, to see if my first impression was correct. But learning about Michael Jackson convinced me. His talent wins. It's that simple.

Everything in pop music today stems from him. My generation may take that for granted.

Jackson led a questionable life. I don't know if he committed crimes. I can't say for sure why he did what he did to his face. But when compared to the influence he had on pop culture and music, it doesn't matter. Michael Jackson the entertainer will outlive Wacko Jacko. And while both sides of his life will echo in pop culture history, his career will overshadow everything else.